Well, the first week is down. An innumerable amount to follow, I'm sure. Honestly, I'm just looking forward to pay day and not having to ask what to do and how exactly to do that--not in that specific order, of course.

I have learned that it pays to work for The Man (especially if you happen to be one of those select few of the golden law students, and, my god, if you do a clerkship! holy shit), but we are all pretty mistaken by what that means exactly. The firm that I'm working for is ridiculously progressive. Progressive in ways that are not yet common to other fields and definitely in ways that are nearly unheard of in the legal arena. This firm even has a diversity department that is actually active and doesn't sport only a handful of employees without much impact, or trying to encourage others to take charge. It actually facilitates attorneys and staff who are interested and proactive.

When I say that we're mistaken about what it means to work for The Man, I mean that we're mistaken in assuming it has to be one way or another. There are a few areas that I think are without hope such as those who make profit by placing value on helping and saving lives (and by this, I explicitly mean health care and pharmaceutical giants), particularly the big pharmaceutical company that was recently charged with human testing. It seems that The Man might be evolving. Maybe.

There was a programme about diversity within the firm put on for the summer associates yesterday that we sat in on. There was a question about efforts undertaken to not only promote working in large firms to minority students but also the legal field to younger students who do not pursue the field since there are many minorities who believe there is little to no chance of climbing the ranks for minorities in large firms. The point was made that there are specific beliefs that the media pushes and that things are actively being discussed and examined within the firm. One of the more impressive points was that they're also ensuring the engagement of junior associate males, since they are routinely excluded in these sort of discussions but that leads progress to a dead-end. A culture of inclusiveness.

I think things are promising for many areas in the US. I am also drunk on the possibilities of these sort of initiatives in industries I would have not normally sought. I was definitely not looking for a position in a law firm, but it seems to be a pretty good fit thus far.

I'm now scouting out the organizations I want to volunteer with. Boys & Girls Club of American and Big Brothers, Big Sisters are at the top of the list, but I specifically want to see if I can search something out about working with refugees in the Bay Area. There is something about integration issues that is near and dear to my heart as of late.

Oh, Al Gore. Please run. Please.

je suis jalouse

This is my newest favourite song. I listen and listen and listen to it. The video is superb. You can find it on youtube. The artist is Emily Loizeau.



1. The art of missing people is something that hits rather acutely. I am aching from missing people. This deep ache that's aggravated by the fear of starting my first salaried job on Monday. This weekend, I will go and purchase some work-appropriate things. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

2. I think tomorrow I will go to the library and get a card. HOLLA!

3. I am still dreaming of a car. I know that I want a mini so badly, but I think that would be a scary car to have in the midwest (because I can't think of anywhere else so truck & SUV happy), should it ever end up in that area. Today, in my brother's Honda Civic, I realised my head was just at the top of the lorry next to us.

4. I got my California license! It even has a pretty picture! Well, okay, I didn't get the license itself, that will arrive in 2 weeks' time, but I did get the o-KAY to drive on these mean streets. I was terrified while taking the test and had no idea of some of the answers. How the hell was I to know what you could be sentenced to for getting a DUI?! I just know YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT SHIT. Luckily, my guess of up to 6 months was totally correct. I only got 3 questions wrong and one of those was a second-guess at the last second where I changed the answer. GO ME.

5. Kim & Rachel leave for Mauritania on Sunday. Shirley is in The Netherlands. Sarah & Amber are still in Argentina, only to return to the States come late-August. Sarah may not return since she's applying to different things internationally. I am trying to win her heart by telling her how amazing SF is and all the wonderful things that she can find. Plus, it will be a weekend rendezvous culture that is going to begin. I swear to this. Too many cheap airlines popping up to not take advantage. Just because I'm on west coast doesn't mean I don't have time to make it to the east. Dammit. I just hope that Becki & Stacey have a comfy couch.

6. I miss all things Dublin terribly. I am even more broken-hearted with the idea that I have now met all of these people whose lives won't intersect with mine and the chances of us ever living in the same place are very low. It is so hard to get used to seeing someone daily to never knowing if you'll be in one another's presence again.

7. Tomorrow, we'll barbecue in celebration! Score.

8. Levi called me yesterday about other positions they have. I had to let them know I was offered an amazing position and accepted. I then spoke to her about the position and we talked about how awesome it is to work with people and do recruitment.

9. Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? Oh, Tina. Such good songs, unlike Don't Feel Like Dancin' that reminds me of Glitz! and Adrian Kennedy. Yay for Glitz, ugh for Adrian Kennedy.

Can we do something to stop the spread of teenage affluenza?

It's perfect.

Life is so much better, sweeter and awesome when you have received an offer from what turns out to be the dream job you didn't believe existed.

A knife, a flint, a water bottle, and a camera crew

These days, there are few things I love like I love Man vs. Wild. I'm sorry, but there is something so phatty about seeing someone work it in a place that I would hate to be stranded. And it also gives me good ideas of places that I need to travel to--except not as extreme and without getting stuck on my own in a place where I am certain to die because I am most definitely not about to squeeze water out of elephant dung, sterile or not.

The sister is here for the next few weeks and I intend to force us out to (attempt to) play some tennis. I think hilarity will ensue and we'll quickly head into the gym where I will, inevitably, challenge her to a push-up competition--and crumple after a feeble set of five, if I can manage that many. After that, maybe we'll head into the city and comb the stores that I will return to once my first paycheque arrives.

While she's here, we are camping out re: our old school days. I am glad to say that her snoring did not wake me last night.
I'm still working on getting her to allow me to take her to get her eyebrows down. I already wore her down so that she let me do the middle--I take that as a good sign that it's only a matter of time.

Stepha Henry

The world was seeming like a better place this morning, until I sat down to watch an episode of The View (yes, I know, secret shame) that I recorded this morning. I had never heard of Stepha Henry until watching this, and the story that Jacque Reid told while they were discussing this story brought tears to my eyes. (The story happened years ago, while she was reporting part-time for one of the nighttime, major networks news shows. During the time that Laci Peterson went missing, a story paralleling it was also happening: pregnant black woman missing and the boyfriend was suspect #1. A night that Ms. Reid was reporting, the body of this woman was found and, despite the obvious, this story didn't get a second of airtime.)

But, back to Stepha Henry. 22 years old, university student out with her sister to celebrate a birthday, goes missing quickly afterward and gets naught a mention on any network. Her picture has never been displayed on national television. Her case is a web-exclusive. Stories published about her focus on how there has been no stories published about her case.

Just today I got an email about the little girl who went missing while her family was on holiday in Portugal. I am getting international news about missing people, but she can't even get a mention on a major network.

In fact, MSNBC bumped not one, but TWO stories about her in favor of covering the Paris Hilton case. I couldn't help myself and immediately went to find the link for their news network to write an email, not that it will really mean anything, I'm sure--it's not like they'd mention me on their station if I went missing.

This is a feminist issue. This is a race issue. This is a national issue.

I think that this sums up more things than I could. And it's a very important read. It touches on the new movie Captivity, the De Anza rape case currently going on in the Bay Area, and several other current events. It is so well-written and I think it covers the thoughts that go on in most women's heads.


I'm reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X and it's making me think about a lot of things in a very concrete manner. I wrote previously that I watched the Democratic debate and was mildly surprised that there were three candidates on that stage that, in some way, directly represent me.

In a way, I feel like the past year has really been an awakening for me, identity-wise, on what it means to be a brown American female. I remember that the thing that really came to bother me in Ireland is that no one ever imagined that I could be American. And you can't put that on my looks, that would be a simplification that didn't spark any sort of examination as to what our nation is portrayed as abroad, or even internally. It wouldn't catalyze the importance for everyone to rethink what a native English-speaker looks like.

[Also, god forbid any instance of being called exotic. If you don't know why that would be an issue, you need to start doing some thinking. And start doing some reading.]

Reading this book, the thing that disheartens me the most is that I don't believe United States culture has changed that much since Malcolm X sat down and told his life's story, his work, to Alex Haley. Sure, it's changed outwardly. Of course it has--but only to an extent.

As I returned from the city centre this afternoon, I stood at the bus stop thinking about how silly it is that the terms developed- and developing- nations are used. How can we be a developed nation when a large portion of our citizens can't even read at a high school graduate level? Or when you know within the first block of a neighborhood that it is predominately non-white? When inner-city child mortality rates rival those of countries held back by leading nations, how can we be a developed-nation?

Or when females are brought up to constantly be on guard, to always say, I'm sorry.

Democratic Debate

I'm sitting on the futon, waiting for Jassen and Jill to get to El Cerrito metro stop, watching the Democratic Debate. I'm finding myself so torn on who really deserves my vote once the primary rolls around. I think it's going to be very difficult because I look at that panel, especially when they're focusing on only Edwards, Clinton and Obama, and see people who actually represent me. I don't think it's very possible to put what I feel seeing Clinton, Obama and Richardson up there. It's the first step that this country needs to be able to pull itself out of this stump of stupidity it's currently mired in.

I've been doing a lot of reading on diversity and race and gender. I missed those conversations very much when I was away, but am finding that it still makes my head spin. There is really nothing like explaining to a non-native English speaker, someone who only knows American culture through promotions that just make the rich that much richer, why n-gger is a horrible word that should never be used. That the rappers who use it are just as stupid as the suburban kids who shout it from the windows of cars.


I used to have a very strong dislike for Hillary Clinton, but it's hard to dislike someone who is so intelligent and well-spoken. I'm sitting and trying to remember what it is that made me dislike her, such as the trends in her voting vs. what she actually speaks and promotes. I don't agree with a lot of people who say that she's cold. She's not cold. If anyone with half a wit would watch her, they would see that she is a very warm, energetic speaker. It just pains me because a lot of the things people say about her are simply the prejudices against women in strong positions in general.

I sincerely hope that a woman will be president before 2020. Even moreso, I hope that a woman will be president, but won't be called a female president throughout the term.


Also, I swear to god, if Senator Biden, and his compliments of people being articulate, gets any sort of advancement in this race, I'm not exactly sure what I will do. Because, I'm sorry, someone who says something so stupid without realising how exactly stupid it is does not need to be leading one of the most diverse nations in the world. If you think about the trends of poverty, of those who enter the armed forces for want of a better option/future, the drop-out rates throughout the educational system, the dynamic of what it means to be an integrated/segregated/assimilated (shit, to even know the politics and implications of the terms/actions integration and assimilation), we cannot afford to have someone who says such things as our leader.

I know that the world so much looks on the United States and hopes that we don't elect another person who will drive the world into higher levels of crisis, but I can't be as concerned with that as I am with what it looks like inside our own country. I think the main contenders (Obama, Clinton and Edwards) for the Democratic ticket will be fantastic when it comes to international relations, so I'm not very concerned with that. (Besides, how do you get much worse than Bush? Even Perot would have rocked that shit harder.)



I am hearing such great things from these people. I hope they don't tear one another apart. It would be so much better to see them work together, to create a cohesive and solid option for the people.

Basically, I will have my fingers crossed until November '08.