u*ban*don: a complete surrender to natural impulses without restraint or moderation; freedom from inhibition or conventionality: to dance with reckless abandon.

I'm being a good student and staying in so that i can catch up on reading.

There was this part in The Ghostwriter by Philip Roth that made me think about this line in Sherman Alexie's The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven.

The point of the section is that there is this part in a book by James Joyce. I forgot the name of his book, but the point of it all is that it's this story about a writer who is about to do himself in when one of his fans comes across him. the fan does not know it is him, but sees him holding the book as well--so he starts reading his favorite passage. on and on. this fan is ... insanely inspired by this writer, so he foresakes his love (who was going to leave him a looot of money, which would have been good for the young and fledgling physician) so that instead he could stay with his ailing doctor. what happens is that the young woman does herself in and doesn't leave a cent to the young physician. the author is dumbfounded and the young physician tells him something like how he cannot get his words and ideas out of his head. i cannot remember if he said it was or was not his fault, but it was eloquently said.

philip roth's character, the writer e.i. lonoff, writes in the margins that is also his fault if he forgets what the writer writes. you know, because it should be profound enough.


so this part in Sherman Alexie's story, it says he does something with indian abandon. and i underlined it [even though i hate hate hate underlining things in my books] because i couldn't get over those three little words and how much they mean, the weight of three words. who would have thunk it, right?

it always makes me a little sad when i think about it. but then that section also made me think of all the other books, the bits and pieces, that stick in my head sometimes--you know? like that part in the great gatsby about being a beautiful little fool and how that's the best thing that a girl can be. or the part in the fountainhead:

"That's the sort of thing I want you to understand. To sell your soul is the easiest thing in the world. That's what everybody does every hour of his life. If I asked you to keep your soul--would you understand why that's much harder?"

The pieces that stick with you. and how important that is to the life [significance] of another that is, just like they said in that james joyce book.


three more books to finish tonight:

The Sound and the Fury, The Mezzanine and White Noise.